Archives for posts with tag: recruitment

Yes, reaching out to children in Jesus’ Name is a high calling and a great adventure, but children’s and family ministry does have some unique challenges. Here are just a few:


  1. “Different orbit” Children’s ministry is one of the few church ministries that takes place at the same time as the main service, and in a different room. The danger here is that the children’s ministry can be cut off from the vision and life of the church as a whole. The children’s leader must work harder than some of the other staff to communicate to “earth” (the parents, adults, lead pastor and other staff) about what is going on on the “moon” (the children’s ministry) and vice versa. The children’s leader has to intentionally work to make sure their ministry reflects the values and mission of the church as a whole, and that the children are a part of the church and its activities.


  1. “High Volunteer Need” Arguably, no other area of the church has a higher need for volunteer leaders than the children’s ministry department, due to the need to keep to ratios (6 kids per 1 adult for example). Also, you cannot put just ANYONE in with children. Each potential volunteer must be thoroughly vetted and background checked before being considered. If they pass, they need to be trained, discipled and placed in an area that flows with their skill set. These precious leaders are not babysitters; they are co-laborers and fellow children’s ministers. A growing kid’s ministry doesn’t need one children’s pastor; it needs a team of children’s ministers, ready to reach all children regardless of background, learning style or situation. We should never apologize for asking others to partner with us in this amazing journey of ministry to kids!


  1. “Babysitting Syndrome” Too many churches are following an old European custom instead of Scripture. By this, I mean, they look at children as unimportant, and put them off in another room to be babysat while the important adults have church. This thinking also leads to placing the most “expendable” people in kid’s ministry to “babysit”. Most children’s ministry leaders will run into this cultural belief at one time or another. It is up to us to lovingly vision cast a more Biblical view of children’s and family ministry- one that places great importance on children. I often tell parents, “We will not babysit your children. We pray that they are changed by learning about and meeting with God. We invite you to be a part of this experience.” We also fight the babysitting paradigm by actively and publically seeking out the best, most talented and qualified people to work with our kids. Not just any warm body will do. Another problem that arises is when the church expects the children’s leader to  babysit, or find babysitters for every single church event. I think this is a terrible idea and a legal liability. Also, it tears down the credibility of the children’s ministry program.  This “babysitting” mentality does not disappear in a day, but with love and prayer we can change the way the whole church views ministry to children.


  1. “Universal Leader” Never before has the children’s leader had to be such a jack of all trades. A lot of churches are looking for a person who can speak up front to children, communicate with the parents, train and disciple the leaders, recruit effectively for multiple open spots at all times, manage the scheduling for leaders and services, head up several outreaches a year and more. Whew. That is a huge job!


  1. “Teeny Tiny Time Frame” We have so little time to make an impact. We only have these kids an average of 1 hour per week, only 32 days a year. These statistics should scare us and challenge us. We must be incredibly intentional about our programming to do everything we can, to equip these kids in every way possible. And part of that equipping process must include partnering with the parents to make sure that these kids are getting what they need spiritually at home first, where they spend the MOST time. Parents+church+dedicated Christian friends make a dynamic support structure for optimal change and growth.



  1. “Poverty” Even in a nation as wealthy as the United States, too many families are struggling with the reality of poverty. According to the National Center for Children in Poverty, “About 15 millionchildren in the United States – 21% of all children – live in families with incomes below the federal poverty threshold, a measurement that has been shown to underestimate the needs of families. Research shows that, on average, families need an income of about twice that level to cover basic expenses.”[1] As children’s ministry leaders, we may be asking kids to come up with money for several events a year- camp, winter retreat, fundraiser etc. There are children in our ministries who honestly cannot afford to pay for these things. Does that mean that they cannot participate in camp, for example? What ways can we work to include more kids instead of excluding them with fees? I struggle with this with our AWANA program. The suggested fees would never work in our area, and even the $20 we did end up charging for books and uniform proved to be too much for several of our children. The gap between the rich and the poor is ever widening in our culture. But at church we are not supposed to give preferential treatment to the rich. How can churches better minister to families struggling with lingering poverty? A book I read recently, “What Helping Hurts,” was a great read, full of great ideas for building up instead of sustaining a spiraling situation.


  1. “Too Many Activities” One of the biggest challenges facing children’s leaders today is that we are competing with so many other activities. Soccer games were never on Sundays when I was a child. Today, parents are routinely taking their children to sports rehearsals 3 or 4 nights a week with games almost every weekend- even on Sundays. In addition they usually have music lessons, 4H, Boy Scouts, etc etc. I think those of us in ministry need to be much more careful about not scheduling a whole lot of extra events. Instead, we should be working to make our weekends (and midweeks if applicable)more effective. Many churches respond to the challenge of “family ministry” by putting on dozens more programs and activities. We need to understand the busyness of our families, do fewer programs, and do those fewer programs with more quality.


  1. “Native Technology Speakers”- I have learned in our classes that this generation of children are native speakers of everything technology related. Perhaps as a result of all this time in front of screens, children have a VERY short attention span (3-5 minutes average), are drawn to videos and can be more inclined to be visual learners. I learned a lot about the different learning styles. Children’s leaders must craft a diverse kids’ service that will minister to different learning styles and proficiencies. Most children’s leaders are also NOT “native technology” speakers, meaning we did not grow up with computers, laptops etc. But the modern ministry leader must commit to learning the language of children and the language of this culture if they plan to be in any way effective. On a side note: I also discovered in my own church, our kid’s ministry programs have been neglecting the “imaginative” learning style. This generation, especially the imaginative learners, need time to “verbally process” what they are hearing. They need an opportunity to share their thoughts and personal experiences. I realized that I needed to add this important time to the curriculum that we write.


  1. “Biblical Illiteracy”- We can no longer assume that the children we minister to, even within the church, all “know” the Bible stories. Biblical literacy is not what it used to be. We have to make an intentional plan to teach children the basic Bible stories both at home and at church.


  1. “Rise of Special Needs”- For unknown reasons, the incidences of autism and other special needs in children has skyrocketed[2]. It may be safe to say that all children’s leaders will have children with special needs in their ministry. And for every one that IS there at church, I imagine that there may be 10 special needs children who stay home, because they or their parents do not feel like they can go to church? Right along with physical special needs-autism, muscular dystrophy, down syndrome etc. is a whole host of mental and behavioral special needs- ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and more. I believe that children’s leaders must educate themselves and others about special needs in children. It is important to do trainings with our leaders and work to be more inclusive to children and families with special needs.


[1] “Child Poverty.” NCCP | Child Poverty. N.p., n.d. Web. 01 May 2017.

[2] “”1 in 68:What Do Autism’s Rising Numbers Mean For Our Families?”.” Autism Speaks. N.p., 24 July 2012. Web. 01 May 2017.

So what are the biggest challenges for you and YOUR ministry? Do you agree with this list? Why or why not?

Whatever challenges you may be facing in your ministry, I pray God helps you meet each and every one with courage, strength and humor. God bless- Trisha



A recent article I read stated that women are four times more likely than a man to apologize all the way through a presentation.[1] Those constant apologies foster distrust in listeners, causing them to be much less likely to approve whatever she is proposing. The more I thought about this article, the more I believed it. But I have heard both female and male leaders apologize all the way through their appeals more times than I can count. When I tell them, “Hey, here is what you said,” they sputter, “Me? No, I never apologize when asking for volunteers.” So now I usually record it and play it back for them just to show them how many times they actually do it. One young lady apologized nineteen times (I counted) in a ninety-second appeal asking people to serve. So she apologized roughly once every four to five seconds. That’s a record, so far.

Before you start yelling that you would never do that, I challenge you to record and listen to yourself when you do an appeal (for volunteers, budget or anything else). Also read your email and voicemail appeals. Did you know there are a lot of ways to say “I’m sorry” without realizing it? How about this children’s pastor’s appeal, with my thoughts in parentheses:

Hi, I’m Pastor ____________. (So far so good.) Can I have a minute of your time? (Uh oh. Said every vacuum salesman/Jehovah Witness.) Sorry (1), I don’t do this very often (Why tell them this?) So excuse my (2) nervousness. This Scripture (read verse) oops (3) lost my place, sorry (4). What I need to tell you is this: I’m no expert (5). (If you are up there talking about it, we all consider you the expert until you told us otherwise. Why did you just tell us this?) But I really think (You think or you know?) we need people badly in the preschool area, because we have a lot of holes. (Why do people not want to work there?) We are just doing our best over there, and we need you. (Um, you want me to do better than you at it?) So if you could just spare a little of your time, just an hour a month, (Wow, you really do not expect much.) please, we could really use you. I’m never too good at this (6). (At what? What exactly are you asking me to do? How do I get started?) So I hope you’ll bear with me (7). (You are up there and I don’t have a choice.) So if you can help, let me know. (How can I let you know? Where do I find you? What are the steps? What exactly do I have to do? How can I get my questions answered? Oh never mind.) Thank you for giving me your time. (This can count as another apology, such as, Sorry I took your time.”)    

Yikes. 7 to 8 apologies??!

Contrast that with a different pastor’s appeal for volunteers I heard about a year ago:

Hey, I’m ____________, elementary director here at _________________. Behind me you’ll see pictures of the elementary dance team doing ministry downtown for our Love Your Community Day. (Whoa, that is amazing.) Our kids’ ministry is growing fast! (Something cool is going on there.) Our mission is to reach the kids of this city with the love of Jesus, while meeting their needs in a real way. (They know what they are doing!) I want to take this moment to thank our leaders for making this happen! You represented Jesus well that day, and what a difference we made! (These leaders are valued, and they are winning at their mission, a mission that is important!) With our classes growing this fast, we are going to need a more people on our team, so I am taking applications for our next season of programming. (People want to do this. They don’t just take any trained monkey.) Are you interested in more information on joining our kids’ ministry team? (Yes, I’d love to be a part of something like that!) It is not easy, and sometimes it breaks your heart. Like last week, when six-year-old Hannah from the homeless shelter walked barefoot  to the parking lot where we were ministering because she wanted to hear the music about Jesus. She hadn’t had a meal in a day and a half. We fed her a great meal, prayed with her, and she won a teddy bear at the end of the day. I’m telling you, the cost is worth the difference we get to make in kids’ lives and in our city! (Oh, my gosh. I’m crying.) Don’t wait. (I won’t!) Sign up today. (Where? How?) For more info call us at __________________________, email us at ____________________, or you can find me immediately after the service at ________________________.


She had me in tears, ready to sign up right then! It’s no surprise that she had a flood of signups—and a lot more growth over that next year. What did she do right with her appeal? She pushed vision, strategy, and excellence. The ministry was winning at a goal and the volunteers were appreciated.

There is one overarching reason to never apologize for asking someone to work in children’s ministry:


Being a part of explaining the story of Jesus; being there when they “get it”; praying with them to receive salvation; seeing them learn to talk to and experience God themselves; helping them find their God-given gifts and the joy of serving—these are the greatest moments I have ever had. Offering someone a chance to use their gifts for something that matters and will last into eternity is the kindest thing you can do for them. You need to understand this down to your soul right now.

If you do not see the “mission critical” impact of what you do, no one else will either. If you don’t believe in the eternal significance of what you are doing, right down to your toes, how can you ask others to take on this journey with you?

You see, American culture has it all wrong by supposing that volunteering is a nice thing to do if you have extra time. Scripture tells us that every Christian—not just the pastor—is to be actively engaged in serving and using his or her gifts to serve Christ, His church, and the lost. Our consumer mentality tells us that the church is here to serve and entertain us by providing us with something. This thinking couldn’t be more wrong and unbiblical. In reality, God created and loves His church desperately. The church is a hospital, a rescue center, reaching out to those without Jesus, and training and equipping Christians to reach the lost. We are to train Christians how to serve to their fullest potential. This serving is not optional; Scripture warns that God will hold us accountable for how we use our time, treasure, and talent. On that day, when everyone gives an account for how they spent their lives, when only what was done for Jesus matters, how many will be ecstatic that you asked them to serve? So do not hesitate to give someone the chance to serve—and do not apologize for doing so.

Want more tips on recruiting volunteers? Check out “Your Children’s Ministry From Scratch”, now available on, for a comprehensive look at the do’s and don’ts of effective recruiting.

So honestly, do you apologize too much? What have been your best recruiting, presentation strategies? Trisha

[1] Brian Williams, NBC Reports, Sorry, it’s true, women apologize more., 2012, accessed May 2014